


in the midst of this nothing, this mess of life

by nosecoffee



Series: my junk is you [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Comedy, Dialogue-Only Challenge, F/M, Fluff, Humour, Like, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, This Is The Most Wholesome Thing I've Written In Ages, Vague Texting AU, Whoa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 18:23:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8856076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: Eliza: You said you were busy last night.Angelica: I wasEliza: Busy eating Sour Patch Kids while crying and belting Let It Go in your car in the Walmart parking lot?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theyellowcurtains](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyellowcurtains/gifts).



> I needed to write something happy, and this came out. I'm actually pretty proud of it.
> 
> Title from 'My Junk' from Spring Awakening.

Aaron: I found a box in our cupboard with pictures of baby you, and you and John as toddlers

Alex: are you squealing in delight at my cuteness

Aaron: I always do

Alex:......no?

Aaron: on the inside.

Alex: ah, with the rest of your emotions, got it.

Aaron: you're funny

Alex: I'm dating a robot

~

"Why is he- oh my, God, why can't he eat properly? Why is there food all over his face?"

"He's a baby, Alexander, he can't eat properly, yet."

"Look at him! He's leaning over his chair with his mouth open and his parents are laughing! If I did that, it'd be weird!"

"That's 'cause he's a baby and you're a grown man."

"Shush, I'm making a point."

"The point is that you don't like babies."

"Babies don't like me! I'm maintaining a reputation."

"Of being afraid of babies."

"I'm not afraid of babies!"

"When Eliza brought Philip over for a play date with Theo, you looked so petrified that I had to take him off your hands."

"I thought he'd bite me!"

"He doesn't have teeth Alexander! Now stop ruining date night because you're being distracted by a baby!"

~

Alex: my boyfriend's being broody on date night and it's all your fault

Eliza: how is it my fault?

Alexander: you have a baby.

Eliza: unless you forgot, you helped out with that process, Alexander. shut up and enjoy date night, you dumbass

~

Eliza: You said you were busy last night.

Angelica: I was

Eliza: Busy eating Sour Patch Kids while crying and belting Let It Go in your car in the Walmart parking lot?

Angelica: Why the f u c k were you at Walmart at 11 last night?

Eliza: Oh my god, it was you. Also I was getting myself aspirin because Philip is teething and I'm getting migraines.

Angelica: I'm praying for you

Eliza: I'm praying for y o u

~

"What's up Theo?"

"I had a bad dream."

"D'you want me to wake up your dad?"

"No. You're my dad too, Alex."

"Oh. Okay. Wanna tell me about it, then, kiddo?"

"Can I sit on the bed?"

"Of course."

~

James: Thomas wants you to know that Despicable Me 3 is coming out next year and you owe him ten dollars

Alex: THAT MOTHERFUCKER

~

"Lafayette got you a watch."

"What?"

"He thought you'd like it."

"I have thirteen watches, Alexander."

"What? Why?"

"Everyone thinks I need one. I don't think they'd understand how much I don't need one even if I wore all of them at the same time."

"Aaron, I just remembered why I love you."

"Also, thanks for ruining that Christmas present."

~

Eliza: can I just say that I'm always glad that you exist

Hercules: you found the Moana soundtrack in the glove box, didn't you?

Eliza: yep, and I love you.

~

Alex: where are you? you're thirty minutes late to my son's third birthday party.

John: i'm gonna be a little late.

Alex: what happened?

John: i got pulled over. i'm getting a ticket.

Alex: hurry up

John: omw

~

"Easter's alright, I guess."

"What do you have against hot cross buns?"

"THEY'RE NOT HOT."

"We're in a supermarket, calm your tits, Alex."

"Calm YOUR tits, John."

~

"Are you free to take Philip for a weekend?"

"Uh, sure. Why?"

"I booked a three day cruise and Herc's taking him on Friday, but then he's flying to Ireland for Hugh's birthday."

"Oh."

"Can you be trusted?"

"He's a three year old; he'll be fine."

~

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"Can we have ice cream?"

"Only if Aaron's willing to run to the shop in his pyjama's for us."

"I'll send Theo to ask."

"Good plan."

~

Eliza: Alexander Hamilton where the fuck is my son?

Alex: we are getting into the elevator as I text

Eliza: good

~

"Have you ever thrown up in an elevator?"

"No?"

"Have you ever seen somebody throw up in an elevator?"

"No?"

"All that is about to change."

"Philip-!"

~

"Why are you both covered in vomit?"

"Long story. You should call your super and tell him that your elevator needs cleaning."

~

"On a scale of 'that's fucking brilliant' to 'oh god no' that's 'oh god, oh god, oh GOD, please no'."

"Thanks for your faith."

"Alex, you do understand that positioning a Slip 'N' Slide to go off a roof, even if there is a five-metre deep swimming pool underneath, is a bad idea?"

"Stop ruining my dreams, Peggy."

"Set a good example for your son, boy."

~

"I'm going to France for a month."

"To see your BOYFRIEND."

"Shut your whore mouth, Hamilton."

"But you are going to see Laf, right?"

"Right."

"A month, huh?"

"Don't say it."

"He's gonna get the GOOD DICK."

"I honestly hate you. How do you have a son, a job, and a committed relationship?"

"I often ask myself that very question."

~

Alex: you get the GOOD DICK™ yet?

John: i refuse to comment.

~

Laf: I am returning to America soon

Alex: with your B O Y F R I E N D?

Laf: yes.

Alex: EHAGTHNASHIBDSGBDTHB

~

"I can't believe that they kicked us out onto the balcony so that they could fuck."

"I mean, it's not like the walls are sound proof."

"Yeah."

"I honestly didn't need to know what John's 'I'm getting lucky' face looked like."

"You get used to it."

"God I hope not."

"Well, at least they're in love?"

"You saying we're not?"

"No. I'm just saying that with a four year-old around the house, it's not exactly easy to get action."

"We could change that."

"I know, Aaron."

"Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"D'you wanna get married?"

"Sure."

"No, I'm being serious."

"So am I."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

~

Alex: I owe you so much.

John: wat?

Alex: I refuse to explain, but you and Laf banishing Aaron and I to the balcony was the best thing that's ever happened

John: if you fucked there, a numeral amount of people could have seen you.

Alex: idgaf

~

George: Alexander. Why is your office empty?

George: It's ten in the morning.

George: Where are you?

George: Alexander, you have a job, you know.

Alex: I just got engaged, sir. I need a sleep in.

George: Send my congratulations on to Aaron.

Alex: Thank you, sir.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr is @nose-coffe, track me down there, and feel free to leave a comment and a kudos. I really hope you enjoyed this. Thank you for reading!


End file.
